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Tessa Ramsden

Street Hawk Food Truck Hijacked for Cross-Country Road Trip
Documentary Coming Soon Four days ago, students all across campus were horrified to learn that the beloved Street Hawk Food Truck had...

Front Row Yapper Holds Lecture Hall 25 Hours Over Class Time
Last week, one brave – or possibly stupid – freshman had the horrifying audacity to hold a Foundations of the English Major lecture hall,...

New Gen Ed Prerequisite is to Solve Riddles Three
Study also shows that your schedule builder predicts your classes As Fall 2025 course enrollment rolls around, Iowa students have started...

Spring Break Breaks Spring
Uh oh! Spring break played with the warm weather a little too hard, and accidentally broke spring for everyone else. Now instead of...

Five Groups of People Who Don’t Deserve Civil Rights, Since Apparently That’s Something We Can Do Now
On February 28th, Iowa governor Kim Reynolds signed a bill that strikes gender identity from Iowa’s civil rights law. This made Iowa the...

McDonald’s Releases New Herky Shake
Following the success of the annual Shamrock Shake and the temporary Grimace Shake, McDonald’s has announced a new themed dessert to add...

Herky the Hawk Gets Five Big Booms: BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!!!
This morning, it was announced that Herky the Hawk is the newest topic to receive the prestigious Five Big Booms from the Costco Guys AJ...

Dear The Onion: Get Your Own Ideas
Dear The Onion, Isn’t this weird? Usually we’re the ones receiving questions in Dear Doily, but since you don’t have any sort of cool...

Purple Heart Awarded to Cambus Driver on Snowy Day
The West Campus Transportation Center was inhabited for the very first time this week for a Purple Heart Ceremony, where the medal was...

13 Reasons Why You Should Lock In
It’s that magical time of year when even the smallest things going wrong can have you telling all your friends (or at least Yik Yak),...

Herky Saves the Town
You Heard Right! In a thrilling turn of events, beloved University of Iowa mascot, Herky the Hawk, saves Iowa City from imminent...

Herky Hunted for Sport
Early this morning, Herky the Hawk’s feathered corpse was found on the steps of the Old Capitol building. He had died from numerous arrow...

Campaign to Add Lunchly to C-Store Menu
Since the release of Lunchly, off-brand Lunchables made by YouTubers Mr. Beast, Logan Paul, and KSI, there has been nothing but good...

Student Spotlight: The Kid Who Jingles When They Walk
We’ve all heard that one guy walking down the hallway, rattling with every step like they have a set of wind chimes in their backpack....

HAWK ALERT: Spooky Scary Skeletons Send Shivers Down Your Spine
HAWK ALERT: Spooky, scary skeletons send shivers down your spine Shrieking skulls will shock your soul Seal your doom tonight Spooky,...

Top 10 Name Ideas for Student Apartments
As a college town, Iowa City is full of student apartment buildings that are all trying to appear as cool and hip to their potential...

UI Study Abroad Program Unmasked as Drug Smuggling Scheme
The Iowa City Police Department recently uncovered a massive drug smuggling operation under the guise of the UI Study Abroad programs....

Iowa Hawk Shop Replaces Every Textbook With “It Ends With Us”
The University of Iowa Hawk Shop, the official bookstore for students to find their textbooks at their most inflated prices, made a...

If I Get One More Email from Engage, I’m Going to Engage in Some Violence
The school year is now in full swing, whether we want it or not, and with that comes the desperation of every single organization on...
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