Will Ferrell Excited to Join Doily Allergen Staff

Ever since the recent visits of Pedro Pascal, Ashton Kutcher, and Miles Teller in Iowa City, barhopping freshmen were in shambles from Will Ferrell’s surprise appearance. Many locals speculated the reason for his visit. Yik Yak seems to have unanimously agreed that he is here to shoot some “documentary.” Yeah, right. Hey! Newsflash, idiots! Will Ferrell doesn’t do movies! Why do you think Step Brothers 2 isn’t out yet? You think he’s just taking his time? Get real.

I guess it’s time we tell the truth… the Doily Allergen is excited to announce its newest intern: Will Ferrell! Yes, it’s true. We watched a few SNL episodes from the 90s and said, “Hey, you know what? This kid’s got something. Let’s give him a chance!” So we took a shot in the dark and decided we’d give him a jumpstart on his career.

All we ask is that you be patient with Will as he is still learning the ropes. We may even let him off his leash and allow him to write an article or two. Just keep an eye on this kid and support him while he’s still local because he’s really got something special. And who knows, one day he might go big.

In other news, keep an eye out: I’m pretty sure I saw Shawn Mendes at Summit. No, like, I’m serious. Like, he looked exactly like Shawn Mendes. Trust me, guys.