White Girl Tries to be DEI Coordinator: “They Don’t Know I’m Indie”

Go, white girl, go! Vivian Williams (local student, pescatarian; analog purist) throws her bleached wolf cut into a messy top knot, pushes her tortoiseshell glasses slightly up the bridge of her nose, and focuses her icy blue eyes on the laptop screen in front of her. She is about to change the world. 

…Or at least her campus. Fervently typing away at the application form for a DEI coordinating position in her local nonprofit youth group, she hums softly to the Neutral Milk Hotel song playing in the background. Vivian set her sights on the position after attending a Kamala Harris campaign event last summer.

“It was just so inspiring to hear her talk, you know? It’s like wow- not only is she a woman—she’s black too! You know… I’ve always really felt like I could relate better to BIPOC and LatinX people.”  [Editorial note: She pronounced both of these words as “bi-pock” and “la-tinks”].

“Like growing up I just always felt so different from the other white girls, like I wore platform Dr. Martens and lots of eyeliner and knew what the Criterion Channel was. It seemed like no one from my hometown even knew Ethel Cain or Emergency Intercom or Alexa Chung, and it was considered weird that I liked those things. I know what it feels like to be, almost like, oppressed because of your interests!” 

When asked to further define key features of her platform and what she currently does to support marginalized communities within her school, Vivian clarified that she would expound on that after she had been elected into the position. 

“I mean diversity, equity, inclusion…how hard could it really even be? It’s not like systemic racism or anything.”