UI Study Abroad Program Unmasked as Drug Smuggling Scheme

The Iowa City Police Department recently uncovered a massive drug smuggling operation under the guise of the UI Study Abroad programs. This international scheme transported massive amounts of cocaine, heroin, and meth in the suitcases of seemingly innocent students who were planted within the program as they traveled through the different study abroad programs.

The case of the Worldwide Snorter has been an international mystery for the last decade. The ruthless criminal organization somehow had the fundings to send large shipments of illegal drugs around the globe on a regular six-month basis. The FBI had noted the shipments’ overlap with the start of typical US school semesters, but had yet to make the connection to such a respected institution as a university. 

When the University Police Department confiscated one of the plants’ suitcases on suspicions of holding evidence of plagiarism, they had no idea what they had accidentally busted open. The unlucky plant, a third-year undergraduate named Jesse Pinkman, was quick to confess and name Dr. Walter White as the head of the crime ring. 

Dr. White, a respected chemistry professor, had also inherited the role of Director for UI Study Abroad programs five years ago from its former head, Dr. Gustavo Fring, who had disappeared under mysterious circumstances that were never solved. The FBI is now reopening Dr. Fring’s case and looking for any connections he may have had with the drug smuggling scheme, which they believe existed on a much smaller scale before Dr. White’s inheritance of the program and criminal operation.

The university has currently suspended all study abroad programs until the investigation is complete, breaking the hearts of many innocent students who had nothing to do with these devilish plans.

One student who chose to remain anonymous commented, “I don’t care if they were going to bring drugs with us to Berlin, I wanted to go! Hell, I would even have done some of the drugs.” The University is now attempting to uncover the identity of this student and place them under academic probation.