Top Ten Topics to Bring Up to Your Family This Thanksgiving
It’s finally time, Hawks! The fall semester has lasted three long years of burnout, cramming, and tears, but it’s nearly time to go home free for our first break of the semester. For an entire week, students will be able to stress about their finals, papers, and presentations without getting any work on them done.
In that week, many Hawkeyes will be visiting family for Thanksgiving. Given the current climate, you might be wondering how on earth to speak with your relatives without bringing up anything you’ve read on social media or in the news. In light of this, we’ve assembled a list of topics you can switch to instead.
The Election… of the sexiest man alive. I’m sorry, John Krazinski? Is this 2009? The Office ended over a decade ago. Marvel literally cut him out of a Fantastic Four role after a cameo of a few minutes. Has nostalgia gone too far?
Moo Deng. She’s cute, and she’s controversy free! (...She predicted what? Oh. And they made cryptocurrency of her? Oh…)
The Catlett Shitter. A good old Iowan-grown story from our very own campus! Feel free to talk about this one during dinner!
The Classes You’re Taking. Especially the ones with more exact descriptions. The more you can convince your family you’re an underwater basket-weaving major, the better. Tell your god-fearing grandmother about that ancient magic class you’re taking. We dare you.
Your Relationship Status. Might as well crack open that topic yourself, right? Better yet, go into detail. Start scrolling on Tinder. Go through your chat history. Surely they won’t ask you again.
The Sound of Nails on a Chalkboard. Maybe even how it feels too. If your uncle starts going off about what he’s been reading on the ‘dark web’ this one’s sure to grab familial attention. Anything is preferable.
Your Favorite Old Conspiracy Theories. Go wild with this one! JFK, the pyramids, Bigfoot. Anything that was popular before 2016. No, Helen Keller doesn’t count. We’re like 90% sure TikTok popularized that one.
Literally Just Reading Every Twitter Post You Scroll Past Out Loud. Yes, Twitter. Or X. Whatever. There’s no point in scrolling if there’s not some gambling involved, right?
The Growing Problem of Illiteracy in Our Youth. It’s really horrible. People are misinterpreting the media they consume, no one is reading anymore, and kids don’t even know how to count these days! It’s a shame. It’s a real shame.
We hope this listicle gave you some good ideas for how to carry out your Thanksgiving conversations. Have fun, eat some turkey, and don’t dread finals too much!
