The Letters of The LBGTQ Acronym, As Ranked By Brad

Sup, Brad Trossen back again with another great ranking. As all the hombres know, I’m super involved in the LGB…whatever it is community. My business frat had this rager once, and I’m pretty sure there was a lesbian there. Hazel? Deborah? Doesn’t matter. Anyway, since its pride month and even Bo James is flying a rainbow flag, I’ve made this sick list of the LBGAQTI+ acronym that everyone can get behind.

1. B This one was always gonna rank high, being my first initial. Back when I was still doing flag football, the boys called be B-Dawg. So did my girlfriend at the time, before she left me for some bitch named Audrey. What a bitch.

2. I If I had it my way, the acronym would start with I. I like to start basically every sentence with it. I get to talk about what I really want to talk about a lot quicker that way. Chicks also like it when I use the letter I, it’s a really inclusive letter.

3. +

Gotta keep this one pretty high up on the list to stay positive, man. I’m all about positivity. Even in my home gym in my uncle’s garage. I’m all about those gains.

4. T I got real into t-posing for a while, so this guy sits real comfy in the middle of the pack. It’s a letter with a powerful structure. Real impressive biceps. All about asserting dominance, and I’m all for dominance, ladies.

5. Q and A These two go together because they are basically the same. Queer, and anyone with a half-shaved head that’s a weird color. Would have scored higher, but this group of gays beat me and the boys at Joe’s trivia last time we went. How were we supposed to know that Mariah Carey wasa singer?

6. L I’m not taking any Ls. Way I see it, it’s Ws or die. They really need to add a W to the acronym, for all the winners. Like me.

7. G G is for sure last on my list cause I’m absolutely not gay. Or gullible. And I don’t have gonorrhea either.