The Doily Allergen Is Brought to You by Sauce: The Original Liquid™

Hey everybody, treasurer of the Doily Allergen here (no, seriously, this article was written by our treasurer). Lately, our veritably esteemed review has been running low on the vast funds we’re definitely provided by the University of Iowa, probably due to our costly subscription to Herky’s… oh, uh, we’re not supposed to talk about that, I’m told. Anyway.

I am proud to announce that the Doily Allergen has now accepted a sponsorship from Sauce: The Original Liquid™, a beloved brand and vendor of… I want to say hot sauce? Chilli, maybe? Barbecue sauce? I, uh, really couldn’t tell when I read the email from them. But, hey, we needed the money, so… um, yeah, Sauce™! We’ve all heard of that company, haven’t we? I doubt any one of you has gone even a week without indulging in some of The Original Liquid™.

Some might argue that sauce isn’t quite a liquid, or that some sauces are liquids and others are closer to solids. Well, Sauce™-brand sauce has surely got to be a liquid, right? Otherwise, their tagline would be false advertising, and no company has ever done that. Of course, Sauce™ never really clarified to me what kind of liquid they sell, but, uh, it’s got to be, like, a normal sauce… of some kind. Could someone tell me? Does anyone know?

Well, that’s the ad. Visit… uh, well, they don’t have a website, so just find Sauce: The Original Liquid™ at your local grocery store (if they even sell it there; I’ve never seen it myself) and tell the cashier to use the coupon code DOILYALLERGEN to get 2% off.

God, I hope they actually pay us and we don’t have to close down in a couple of days…