Ten Minute Play Festival Snubbed at Emmys

This year’s Ten Minute Play Festival — an annual celebration of new short plays performed and written by UI students — has just concluded, after four days of ceaseless performance. Unfortunately, this year’s Emmy Award Nominations have just come out, and not a single one of the ten-minute shows was nominated. What a disgrace!

Award shows used to be about more than just capitalistic accumulation and nepotism. They were about art, truth, and… some other virtuous-sounding word! What better encapsulates that purpose than the Ten Minute Play Festival, America’s #1 primetime television program?

Well, if the Television Academy (“The freaks who bring you the Emmys®”) can’t get their act together (get it? GET IT?), then we will. These are the categories we believe each of the ten-minute plays should have been nominated for, in order of performance:

Pair of Bones: Outstanding Fantasy/Sci-Fi Costumes

The Worst Supervillain in the World: Outstanding Sound Mixing For A Comedy Or Drama Series (Half-Hour) And Animation

An Honest Song: Outstanding Choreography For Scripted Programming

HORSE-BOY: Outstanding Short Form Comedy, Drama, Or Variety Series

Doves and Foxes: Outstanding Drama Series

Her Reputation: Outstanding Production Design For A Narrative Period Or Fantasy Program (One Hour Or More)

The Epic Highs and Lows of High School Show Choir: Outstanding Comedy Series

Secret Meeting: Outstanding Short Form Nonfiction Or Reality Series

Sorry for excluding the staged readings, but those just aren’t eligible for the Emmys. Guess you’ll have to wait for this year’s Tony Awards!