Taylor Swift Announces New Song: “We are Never Getting (the Ozone Layer) Back Together” ft. Ben Shapiro

As a proud YAF member, this is one of those announcements where you know your kids will be asking you, “where were you when Taylor Swift announced her collab with Ben Shapiro?” and I’ll tell you – chalking up the University of Iowa’s sideways in unwavering defiance to DEI and protesting to keep my favorite assault rifles around.

It’s no secret that Taylor Swift loves her afternoon flight from her living room to her kitchen, but she’s finally releasing a song about it, and I couldn’t love this feature more. Swift has been known for writing about her exes for far too long, and frankly, she is sick of it, and so are we. She wants to change her image from an ex-obsessed, mad female to a powerful woman who is not to be trifled with. In order to make this transition clear, she decided to stand up against the indomitable force that is the one and only, Ozone Layer.

We Republicans have been trying to tear it up for years now and I’m glad someone—even if it’s Taylor Swift—is joining our fight. Another hole has burned right through the Ozone Layerafter choking on emissions that Swift used to get to and from the Superbowl in her supersonic, superspeed, supertoxic private jet. We couldn’t be more proud to finally show our support, as a party, to the popstar.

The song will be released May 27th, 2024, on Memorial Day. Ben Shapiro is expected to make an appearance at her Eras tour concert to help her sing her surprise song, “Real Women Vote Red.” We couldn’t be happier for this new Era Taylor Swift is ringing in and we hope the libtards finally leave her alone.

Thank you all and merry doomsday.