Summit Begins Promoting Dollar COVID Shots

With Iowa City bars and clubs forced to close as COVID-19 cases surged, many of Iowa City’s staple institutions have suffered. Luckily, with the vaccine beginning to be distributed, Summit has begun promoting dollar COVID shots to celebrate their reopening.

“It’s a match made in heaven really,” said Summit manager Colin Clarke. “I was just watching the news and they mentioned the “COVID shot” and it just clicked in my brain: hey, we sell shots! So for the next few months we’re going to be promoting our upcoming dollar-shot deal as much as we can. We’re expecting a huge crowd, but who cares? Everyone there will be vaccinated anyways. It’s foolproof.”

Clarke expects that the deal will bring back Summit’s typical customer base, whom he described as “the people that will put away ten or more shots before showing any major side effects.” He also expects that it will attract customers who normally would stay at home for fear of COVID or how nasty the entire bar is.

“Even those nerds will realize that in this case, getting fucked up is the socially responsible thing to do,” Clarke said. “Plus, it’s only a dollar. Nowhere else in town is going to have that deal. Summit will be out of the red in no time. Take that, coronavirus!”

When asked for his thoughts on the University providing COVID vaccines for free, Clarke told reporters, “They’re doing what? How are they making a profit? Oh, this could ruin everything. Oh, god. Oh, fuck.”