Study: Typing Loud as Hell on Macbook Does Not Improve Class Performance In Any Conceivable Way

A recent University of Iowa study found there is absolutely no correlation between typing loud as all fucking hell on a Macbook Pro and improving class performance. The study busted a myth that everyone in your 200 person lecture apparently believes.

Macbook users were reportedly confused by the findings.

“I don’t get it. I thought that alerting everyone of just how many notes I’m taking and how fast I was taking them would boost my participation grade.” said Junior Sandra Donovan. “How else am I supposed to assert that I’m the best student and the biggest asshole in the class?”

UI lecturers however, were pleased by the results.

“You would not believe what it sounds like to stand in front of 180 20-somethings who all think their shift key is some kind of g-spot. I just hope people will take the results to heart and reevaluate their laptop choices. To be honest, I’ve been lowering students’ participation grades if I even see them pull out a Mac. I think it’s warranted.”