Study Shows Not Faking Orgasms Leads to Healthier Relationships (Looking at You, Jenna in Burge 2304

A study released this week from Stanford University’s Department of Psychology suggests that individuals who fake their orgasms during sex are less likely to demonstrate healthy relationships. This enlightening research could provide insight for many couples who struggle with sexual intimacy and pleasure, such as my neighbor Jenna in Burge 2304 and her boyfriend who I’m pretty sure is named Kyle.

Dr. Gabrielle Andersen and a team of researchers interviewed over 1600 different couples from various demographics. They found that a partner faking their orgasms is negatively correlated with markers of healthy relationships such as trust and communication. People like Jenna who regularly fake their pleasure, loudly and obviously enough that I, her next door neighbor, can tell, could see severe consequences in their relationships.

“At some point in every sexual relationship, one partner is not receiving sufficient stimulation to reach climax, but they pretend that they are in order to appease the other,” stated Dr. Andersen in a press release.

For example, Jenna will suddenly moan dramatically at the top of her lungs after remaining relatively quiet for the past 3.5 minutes of Kyle’s arrhythmic pounding.

The research also shows a gender imbalance in orgasm faking, with women comprising the overwhelming majority of those who frequently do so. Dr. Andersen states that closing the orgasm gap is “an important step towards achieving gender equality in intimate relationships” and that more people should be educated on female pleasure, which usually requires clitoral stimulation rather than intercourse alone.

Interestingly, Jenna has “women’s rights are human rights” in her Instagram bio and protested the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, but never seems to make Kyle pleasure her in any way that doesn’t make my nightstand rattle incessantly. Hypocrisy much?

Orgasms are an important part of the sexual experience, known by health experts to improve moods and promote relaxation. This is why I know Jenna is faking her orgasms. When I run into her in our dorm hallway after one of her sexcapades, rather than appearing relaxed, she holds a grim expression, akin to one who has accepted the disappointment inherent to the human condition.

Dr. Andersen urges those who struggle with faking orgasms to communicate openly with their partner.

“Don’t be afraid to let your partner do what feels good to you, even if it takes longer than expected,” Dr. Andersen states.

Jenna would probably benefit from letting Kyle finger her for more than two minutes, although personally, if it means she spends less time yelping like a kicked chihuahua while I’m trying to sleep, I would be fine if she didn’t.