Student Spotlight: Kid Trapped in Lockdown Browser

Straight Out of Black Mirror…and Into Respondus

As the endless cycle of midterms has begun once again, students all across campus have made moves to lock in on their studies. One student in particular, third-year Kiera Icken, has gone above and beyond by locking herself in… literally.

“It wasn’t intentional,” Icken, third year engineering major, told our staff. “I had to log on here for a quiz in class, but I was accidentally wearing my brain-uploading helmet, so my entire consciousness was sent into the Respondus Lockdown Browser. Amateur mistake.”

We are currently unaware how her body is surviving at the moment, but we’ve been notified that her Icken’s roommate is keeping her laptop plugged in and a spiffy mustache drawn on her face in Expo marker. 

“It kinda sucks honestly. I can only communicate with people in ICON messaging and discussion boards. My family thinks I’ve died, and I think my girlfriend is going to break up with me for ghosting her again.”

Despite the fact Icken can no longer communicate with her loved ones or enjoy the little pleasures of student life (like food, sleep, and Thirsty Thursdays), she’s made great progress on her assignments. 

“This is all I can do. I finished all the midterms for the rest of the semester…somehow. I didn’t think it could be done. Is this it? Is this the end of the Sisyphean task?”

Who knows? Potentially even more midterms will be crafted just to give Icken something to do, trapping her in an endless cycle of test taking. But until someone is able to rescue her from this virtual purgatory, one must imagine her happy.