Student In Herky Costume Dies Of Heat Exhaustion

This week, temperatures in Iowa City have skyrocketed to nearly 90 degrees, which has left many students feeling sluggish and exhausted ahead of their final exams. While many students get to spend their days studying in air-conditioned apartments or classrooms, one student wasn’t so lucky. This morning, University of Iowa senior Jacob Chavez, best known for portraying Herky the Hawk at University of Iowa athletic events, tragically died from a combination of heat exhaustion and dehydration whilst playing Herky.

Reports say that Herky was at an outdoor event for finals week at the IMU when Chavez began complaining about the heat and asking to take a break. Eyewitnesses report hearing Chavez say from within the costume, “Christ, I’m so hot. It’s so hot in this suit. I’m so dizzy. Please, I just need water. Can someone get me some-” before collapsing to the ground.

Chavez was a freshman at the University of Iowa when he received a call from the University of Iowa Athletics Department asking if he would like to give up his Saturdays, dress up as a yellow hawk, and prance around for drunk parents trying to relive their glory years. Of course, Chavez jumped at the opportunity, as we all would, but little did he know the dire consequences of his decision.

“He was always such an ambitious boy,” said Chavez’s mother. “Even as a young child he was always obsessed with mascots and animal fursuits. At first, I thought there might be something wrong with him, as my father had been a furry. I didn’t want the same fate to befall my sweet Jacob. But it turns out his obsession with mascots was completely normal for a boy his age, or at least that’s what the doctors told me. If only I had known…”

The University of Iowa Athletics Department issued a statement concerning Chavez’s death, stating, “While what happened to young Chavez is unfortunate, we must never forget that the whole point of Herky is to make people happy. And if we have to sacrifice a few alcoholic philosophy majors to do that, then that’s a risk we are willing to take.”

When asked whether any precautions would be taken to prevent mascot-related deaths from happening again, a spokesman for the University said, “We have lots of fine young students ready to serve their University in this great fight. And if we have to sacrifice a few good soldiers in that fight, then so be it. God bless America, and God bless the University of Iowa.”

For more on this story, listen to The Doily-er Allergen Episode 5.