Student Grateful To Bike Thief Who Only Took Seat

Bike theft is a scourge in Iowa City, one that leaves bike-owners of all ages living in constant fear that they will be the next in a long line of snipped locks dangling from bike racks. Such a tragedy befell UI sophomore Alec Harrow last week. But while he couldn’t deny his disappointment, he considers himself lucky to have been preyed on by a thief who only took the seat, leaving the rest of his bike intact.

“It really shows a complexity that I wouldn’t have expected from a bike thief,” Harrow said. “Never in a million years would I have expected a petty criminal to have the compassion and restraint to leave my bike completely intact except for the one thing I need to comfortably ride it. If the thief is listening, know that your random acts of kindness haven’t gone unnoticed. Keep up the great work.”

Harrow says that while his seatless bike took some getting used to, he is now fully adjusted and is more than capable of going out for a ride in the fall weather. In fact, Harrow claims he doesn’t think he’ll “waste the money” on a new seat.

“I had my doubts,” he said. “But now, there’s no risk of me sliding around on the seat anymore, and I don’t have to worry about drying off the seat when it rains. Turns out there’s some perks to riding a bike with a two-inch pole up your ass. Now I know how my girlfriend feels. I can’t thank this thief enough for opening my eyes, my mind, and my sphincters.”

Though the person behind Harrow’s bike seat theft remains unknown, their generosity has been appreciated on a citywide scale. According to some reports, other bike thieves have even followed suit, hoping to do some good in the community.

“It’s nice to give back,” said UI junior and bike thief Griffin Coslern. “I heard about what happened, and I just thought – ‘why not me too?’ So, I’ve started taking only the front wheels off bikes, rather than the entire thing. It’s way more rewarding – emotionally, if not always financially. But then again, bike theft isn’t about the money. It’s about what you can do to make the world a better place.”