Standup Class Leaves Generation Thinking They’re Funny

Comedy is in the air as the University of Iowa Stand Up Class wraps up for another semester. As more and more conversations begin to include elaborate stories that are totally not part of a set and the phrase “hey that’s pretty good, I’m gonna write that down”, the Doily Allergen has decided to interview one of these young comics. Sophomore Jake Chortle, whose Twitter banner features himself performing his set to the packed venue of his sister’s funeral, admits finding willing audiences can be difficult.

“Open mics aren’t really my scene,” Chortle said. “I like to go to karaoke bars, request Stairway to Heaven, and perform a ten minute set over the music.”

His commitment to comedy has taken a hit on Chortle’s social life. He has not been invited to rewatch Bo Burnham’s Inside with his fellow theater majors in weeks.

“I’ve noticed that my friends aren’t talking to me as much anymore, but that’s not a problem. Comedians like myself and John Mulaney always have a hard time connecting to other people. Things are looking up though, this weekend I got paid $15 to perform comedy at a gig only six hours away.”

Things are indeed looking up for budding comedians like Chortle. The Iowa City Police Department has commissioned some of these students to perform as a deterrent for troubled youth as part of a new ‘scared straight’ program.

“The program has been highly effective,” says police commissioner Gordon Bordan after pulling the cotton from his ears. “We’ve never seen such a sharp decline in repeat arrests among juvenile offenders. We’ve finally found something that scares them more than incarceration.”

“It was horrible,” said one teen who attempted to chew her own arm off in a feeble attempt to escape the performance. “He made so many jokes about his bitch of an ex wife, but he’s like 19? I’m pretty sure he’s never been married.”

“I think it went pretty well,” said Chortle. “Hey, do you guys mind if I talk about this article in my next set?”