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Doily Allergen

Rusty the Sloth Cancelled After Prehistoric Tweets Resurface


rusty the sloth

Cancel culture has caught up with Macbride’s beloved sloth, Rusty, as the prehistoric mammal has been forced to answer for previous offensive remarks. The statements were discovered by archaeologist and social justice influencer Nathan Cremers as he was spelunking in an ancient underground cave. The tweets were etched into the side of the walls in under 280 characters and were very shocking, according to Cremers.


“Rusty really had something to say about every group,” Cremers says. “For instance, apparently all mammoths are genetically born to be inferior to a pack of hunters…woof.”

Cremers says Rusty went on a tirade against several creatures whom Rusty deemed inferior, as well as making several offensive jokes at certain endangered species.


“In one of them (Rusty) wrote ‘looks like dodos are now do-donts haha’,” Cremers says. “He really couldn’t have had worse timing.”


Rusty defended himself on his podcast, The Slothcast.


“I never said I was a role model,” Rusty said. “If you dig back millions of years into anyone’s history you’re bound to find some things they’ll regret. The only thing I can do is evolve from the sloth I was back then.”


The University is said to be considering what action they take in regards to Rusty’s recent controversy.


“Obviously Rusty’s remarks are horrible,” University spokesperson Sameer Ali says. “But we feel that the sloth we see today is a completely different sloth from the one found in those etchings.”

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