Pappajohn Business Building Replaced by Wicked Castle

After 30 short years, the John Pappajohn Business Building, famous for taking up an entire city block and enlightening Iowans about the wonders of basic algebra, has met its end. Now, you might be wondering where business majors are meant to go between parties and smoke breaks, but apparently Tippie’s taken a page out of Dracula’s book (which is just Dracula, now that we think of it).

The new business building towers a hundred feet above Clinton Street, casting a dark and vile shadow over the student population. The College of Business has eschewed modern stylings in favor of something a bit more gothic. Though the University denies any knowledge, and posits that there is absolutely no possible way that they could construct an entire 16th-century French château in the space of an evening without anyone noticing, but we at The Doily Allergen pride ourselves on knowing better. 

The University likewise denies hiring the new head of the business program, Dr. Vlad Dracul, who has taken a more open-door approach by taking up residence in the new building, though his office hours bizarrely seem to be past sundown. We haven’t been able to contact Dr. Dracul for an interview, and our reporter who went to his office seems to be feeling confused and lightheaded, so perhaps he’s just busy.

Despite resistance from university administration, the new business building, dubbed by the student population as “Dominoes Castle,” has been widely well received. One business student we talked to, apparently, didn’t even notice anything had changed until their laptop died and they realized that, with no outlet, they were forced to pay attention in class. 

Another business student claims that the new grand hall is “great for networking” and that they met “a number of business-minded people,” though they later clarified that “people” was a bit of a loose word. I hear they’ve already started organizing TED Talk watch parties in the dungeon, which happens to be right next to the ancient wine cellar. The Environmental Sciences Department has taken up studying the colonies of bats which have nested in the eaves of the high towers, and the History Department has been busy with preserving the variety of historical instruments strewn about the walls of the castle. 

We, personally, love the cult-magic-dark-sacrifice room; the bloodstained tablet on the dais makes for a wonderful study spot, and it’s only ever busy on the night of the full moon. If you do happen to take a visit, though, bring a torch, but don’t look too hard into the dark. What they do in the shadows is nobody’s business.