Marketing Major Put on Academic Probation after Missing Class for Three Straight Weeks of Class

It’s not often that marketing majors get caught in such hot water, but third year marketing student, Caitlin Clark, decided to completely skip classes for three weeks straight and is paying the price. To add insult to injury, she left a crass email to her professors about how she’s going to fulfill her dream, yet no one knows where she went. The woman disappeared.

Some students have theories about where she went, like her roommate, who was forced to sleep alone for three weeks. Her roommate said it’s likely that she neglectfully went home. She emphasized just how often Caitlin goes home—almost every weekend since the semester began.

Professors made comments about how they reached out to her and got neither a hey nor hello from Clark concerning her whereabouts. When asked about where she went after the fact, she commented “they know where I went.” This response is very clearly vague, and professors were wildly offended that they didn’t know where she went. No one did.

Clark received a strongly worded email from all her marketing professors, including Sir Tippie himself, upon her mysterious return: “Due to your lack of attendance and disregard for your academic career in marketing, you will be hereby placed on academic probation.”

According to an inside source, Clark confidently clicked “reply all” and blatantly claimed, “I do not need school.”

Sources close to Clark still have no idea where she went and state that she still has no regrets and does not care about being placed on academic probation. This is truly shocking behavior from a once stellar marketing student.