Liberal Mob Appreciates Level of Faith Conservatives Have In Them

Recently, there’s been a lot of accusations thrown around by conservative politicians describing what they call a “radical takeover” of the government by “the liberal mob,” consisting of Democratic politicians such as Nancy Pelosi, Bernie Sanders, and Iowa’s own Theresa Greenfield. These accusations say the radical left is changing rules in order to fit their liberal agenda. We here at the Doily Allergen sat down with a spokesperson for the so-called “liberal mob” to set things straight.

“It’s more of a liberal club,” says liberal mob spokesperson Nathan Cremers. “I wish we were organized enough to be a mob. But hey, maybe someday.”

Cremers says he is actually quite thankful for how the Republican party has portrayed the liberal mob in their attack ads.

“The conservatives have made us out to be a well-oiled machine that’s going to overthrow democracy in order to push our radical ideals,” Cremers says. “Hell, I can’t even get half these guys to respond in the group chat let alone topple a government.”

Cremers says he and other radical leftists don’t actually have an agenda of their own and are more interested in appealing to both sides of the aisle.

“We’ve learned that people don’t like it when you take a stand all the time,” Cremers says. “So, we try to take the middle road on most issues. Climate change, health care, fracking, you name it, we’re gonna sit on a fence about it.”

Some conservative politicians have labeled certain members of the liberal mob as “socialists” with such radical ideals as defunding the police or providing healthcare to all citizens. Cremers assures us that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“We’re not here to stir the pot or produce any real change,” Cremers says. “We just want things to stay exactly the same so that nobody gets mad at us. Then, when things end up getting worse, we’ll look progressive by comparison.”

When asked if the liberal mob has any stance they are even considering pushing, Cremers responded “Vote ♥”.