Labor Day Special! UI Dining Halls Searching for Volunteers to Work Eight Hour Shifts

Are you tired of feeling overworked, underappreciated, and sad? Are you just all-out fed up with money? Well, this Labor Day the UI Dining Halls are looking to give you the chance to work entirely without pay!

Each hall has a different holiday special happening, each flavored with their own incentive for people looking to give without getting today. Catlett is promising no pay AND the chance to stand outside one of their most exclusive and expensive rooms, so you can pretend that they paid you enough to live there. Burge is guaranteeing volunteers the opportunity to work three hours at the C-Store on top of working the eight hours prior. And Hillcrest is just excited to have people come over the river to work for free, literally, no pay whatsoever. You too could be so lucky.

While some selfish assholes might use this day to take a break from the hellish mortal coil that is late-stage capitalism, you could be one of those shining stars that cleans the waffle-bar at Burge for one of those assholes. You can work alongside people who are getting paid and feel better about yourself because you’re doing this out of the kindness of your heart.

Do not for any reason whatsoever worry about the fact that you’re doing this for free. The currency that is free labor is much more important than you having money for groceries.