Iowa YAF Wins Pulitzer Prize For Beautiful Chalk Messages

After decorating the University of Iowa’s pavements with powerful messages fighting UIowa’s Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion Policy, Iowa YAF has won a Pulitzer Prize, arguably the most prestigious literary commendation in the country.

“They convey so much grit and emotion in so few words,” Zhedong Fiddlesticks, Chairman of the Pulitzer Prize Board said. “It’s truly something we haven’t seen in decades.”

“I’m honored that greatness and inherited superiority can finally be recognized,” Uncle Ruckus, the Iowa YAF President said to us. “This is the first step to a pure, white future.”

Iowa YAF has attacked the sick, dastardly, and downright nefarious institution known as DEI.

“DEI is the opposite of equality,” Ruckus continued. “Equality is just the mask it puts on to trick the liberal sheep. What DEI really wants is to hold back the next great underrepresented minds of the future generation.”

By “underrepresented,” Ruckus is referring to straight, white, Christian, cisgender men.

“Our chalking aims to eliminate DEI so that the beautiful white kids of our University can finally have a fighting chance at success,” Ruckus said.

We sent investigative reporters to sit in on the lectures of many “DEI classes,” as YAF refers to them. What we found was horrific: white men were not the center of attention at all times!

We were shocked. It sickened most of our reporters to the point where they had to walk out in the middle of the lecture to avoid vomiting on the spot. Professors were highlighting marginalized communities throughout history, using politically correct nomenclature to refer to their respective identities, and even pushing the woke agenda, saying that it’s not okay to spread hate speech in chalk!

“We want to second Iowa YAF’s message that it is perfectly okay to cover your campus with hate speech in order to avoid hurting any precious white feelings,” Fiddlesticks said.