Doily’s Top 10 Evil Spells

By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes! There is a cold breeze in the air, and something is afoul in Iowa City. For absolutely no reason at all and in no particular order, here are Doily’s top 10 evil spells—take notes, you may need them in the future…

Abracadabra: this classic spell is our go-to incantation. Whether you’re using it to pull a rabbit out of a hat or kill one of your professors, this spell is great in any situation!

Alakazam: a popular runner-up to abracadabra, this spell works wonders. If one of your main goals in life is to be more like Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, we highly recommend this one!

Hocus pocus: though the 1993 movie made this spell mainstream, it still works wonders. It works best swirling your hands over a bubbling cauldron. A long white beard isn’t necessary to cast this marvelous spell!

Hoogity boogity: this one is great for throwing people off. It’s relatively underground as far as spells go, and we think you should add this one to your repertoire if you’re aiming to confuse.

Shazam: just like the app! Hooray!

Yo gabba gabba: this all-purpose, deeply historic spell works with any intention. Fact: this was one of the most commonly used spells in ancient Rome!

Open sesame: not just for opening doors! Use this spell to open the minds of the less magically inclined—your powers are meant to be shared.

Presto: another classic. Presto is great to use in a sticky situation—it rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it?

Fireball: casting fireball is a surefire way to light up a room! We recommend using this to get out of a midterm or scare your roommates into doing the dishes. It worked at the Advanced Technology Labs last year, after all!