Doily Allergen Makes Public Apology for Bad Behavior

After the Doily Allergen declared to apologize once in a blue moon, we got caught between a rock and a hard place as some idiot made the moon blue last night and now we have to face our crimes.

People we grant our deepest apologies for due to our previous bad behavior:

- Chuck from the theater department for slander

- Barbara Wilson for our one sided crush

- Poster guy for objectification

- Herky for slander

- All roommates everywhere for slander

- Anyone that has ever had to talk to the University of Iowa parking and transportation

- Anyone who remembers Bruce Harreld

- Sisyphus for having to push the rock

- University of Iowa for telling people not to go to the engagement fair, even though they shouldn't

- Power cafe for that one joke

- Kyle

- Our 1,000th instagram follower: we stalked you for months

- Iowa State for obliterating you in that one quidditch match

- Jennifer Aniston for comparing her to Bruce Harreld

- Daily Iowan.... SIKE! You thought!