Dining Hall Uses a Lot of Fucking Eggs

On Saturday, University of Iowa Executive Chef Barry Greenberg announced that the university dining halls use a lot of fucking eggs.

“It’s a shitload of eggs,” Greenberg told reporters when questioned on the university’s food conservation efforts. “We go through about 109,000 eggs each week, and that’s actually fucking insane.”

“The country of Iceland is home to about 357,000 people. If all those people were eggs, the university’s students would devour the whole goddamn population in less than a month like a bunch of fucking gremlins.”

When asked about the environmental impact of the university’s consumption rate, Greenberg replied, “Imagine a chicken. Imagine you’re in a field watching a single chicken. Now imagine that instead of one chicken, you had a metric fuckton of chickens, and then imagine that instead of a metric fuckton of chickens, you had a metric fuckton of eggs instead. That’s how many eggs we use. Like, what the fuck?”

Greenberg ended his press conference by lobbing eggs into the crowd of reporters while shouting, “Eggs! Eggs! So many eggs!”