Dear Doily: How Is It January Already?

Dear Doily,

I think we can all agree that this semester has gone by uncannily fast. It feels like just last week we were throwing out our syllabi and skipping our first classes! And I know it feels like this happens all the time, but seriously, where has the time gone?

Because I gotta say, I have no idea how it’s January already. Genuinely, how is that possible? Didn’t we just have the election a couple weeks ago? Shouldn’t it still be November? I don’t even remember Thanksgiving or Christmas!

Most semesters, the time goes by quickly, but it usually doesn’t… skip over so much. I feel like I missed out on going home, seeing my family and hometown friends. Why can’t I remember any of that? Have I suffered a grievous head injury?

Also, I’m still in my classes from the fall, and so are all my classmates. Is this some big clerical error I haven’t heard about? What the hell is going on? None of my professors or friends have mentioned anything about it. When they act discombobulated like me, they say things like “It’s just that time of the semester” or “Looking forward to break!” But isn’t the start of the semester supposed to be a better time of year? Why are you already in need of spring or summer break? I mean, I relate, but what’s the deal? How come no one’s mentioned that it’s January?

You are the only news source that I can trust to deliver me the facts. Please, Mr. Doily, sir, relieve me of this confoundment!

Sincerely,

Calendrical Cameron

Dear Calendrical Cameron,

How did you get this address? We’re not open for letters during summer break. Bye, thank you! See you in the fall!

Yours Truly,

The Doily Allergen