Cool, Rebellious Restaurant Manager Ignores Safety Precautions Like A Total Bad-Ass

Most restaurants would close their doors like a bunch of little babies if they had a major outbreak of coronavirus, but one really cool and bad-ass restaurant manager is doing things a little differently.

“Safety schmafety,” remarked Nathan Cremers, the manager of the totally awesome restaurant that just saw its third outbreak of COVID-19. “If I wanted to be a scaredy cat dork, I’d for sure shut the restaurant down after this many confirmed cases of the deadly virus. But last I checked, scaredy cat dorks don’t get promoted to manager.”

Other totally lame restaurants have shut down temporarily just as a precaution, but Nathan Cremers assures us that he is not lame and a total bad-ass.

“You think a little global pandemic is gonna stop my free-spirited totally gnarly attitude? Think again, poin-dexter,” Cremers said, lifting me up by the shirt collar.

When asked if he will at least start requiring patrons to wear masks inside his totally sweet and epic restaurant, Cremers remarked that masks were “lame” and “for babies.”

Edit: Nathan Cremers has since contracted COVID but continues to go into work like total a bad-ass.