Classroom Management Professor Gets Through 20 Slides of 64, Sets Personal Record

As we’re all aware, the College of Education is one of the finest programs provided by the University of Iowa, offering prospective teachers the guidance to fulfill their dreams and the knowledge to do so successfully. Instructors are often reported to be helpful and encouraging, and there are few poor reviews, likely because most professors have decades of impressive experience in the field of education. And then there’s Professor Macmillan.

As a co-teacher of Classroom Management, you’d assume he’d be a master delegator, an expert in time management, and a beacon of hope for future teachers, most of whom will burn out within five years and go into social media marketing. You may even go so far as to believe he’s respected by his students, and he respects them equally. And you’d be absolutely right!

Last week, he accomplished what no other co-teacher could. In his presentation on the effects that seating charts have on classrooms, he made it to slide 20 of 64, beating his prior record of 16. Many students noted how Professor Macmillan seemed to be ridiculously productive, only digressing for fifteen minutes at a time as opposed to his usual forty-five.

Paula Morales, a third-year Science Education major, commented on what she believed to be a triumph of the human spirit.

“It just goes to show that anything is possible if you don’t allow yourself to get distracted by telling stories about your days coaching middle school girls’ basketball,” Morales said. “I mean, I think it’s entirely possible to get through the entire presentation in a two-and-a-half hour class with time to spare, but I feel like we’re missing out on so many important anecdotes when we focus on the presentation. I think we’ve hit a sweet spot that balances learning about the field of education with rambling stories about Professor Macmillan’s personal life.”

We reached out to Professor Macmillan for comment and scheduled an interview, but due to his poor planning and a lack of respect for our time (but so much respect for us as individuals, according to his email), we were unable to actually conduct the interview. Since we have a deadline to meet, we’ll put some words into his mouth and deal with the consequences later.

“Getting through twenty whole slides was absolutely one of the hardest things I’ve ever accomplished as a teacher,” Professor Macmillan says, his eyes shining brilliantly with pride and victory. “I don’t think I could have done it without the grit and determination I imbued into my teaching style back when I coached girls’ basketball. I actually owe my life to girls’ basketball. Did I ever tell this story? So this was a few years back, probably ‘95 or ‘96, and my team and I had just lost our third game in a row…”

As compelling as his stories might be, there is still tension within the classroom. With so many slides not covered in class, it does leave a couple whiny, ungrateful students wondering how to optimize productivity in the classroom.

“I just don’t get why we can’t learn about education, you know?” says sophomore Jules Sidener. “My friends and I are so frustrated. Are we seriously celebrating this guy finishing a third of the lesson he planned? It’s ridiculous that a course on classroom management is so poorly managed.”

“I literally had no idea this was going on,” we expect Professor Macmillan to say in response to these biased, unfounded claims. “I definitely haven’t addressed student complaints about this multiple times, and it isn’t like I comment on my poor time management in class. But if you all really do have a problem with how my class is run, I’ve come up with a solution that I believe will be a positive change for all of us. Why don’t we extend class time by half an hour? I mean, it’s not like any of my students have any responsibilities or commitments outside of this class, right?”