Burge Gets Gentrified?

Rumors have been flying around campus this semester. Why is Burge Dining Hall now closed on Saturdays? Why didn’t Mayflower sell? Here at the Doily Allergen, we’ve come across a few interesting leaks that put your questions to rest, but open a whole new flood of other ones.

Alleged construction plans have been revealed for Burge's radical new setup. The first floor will be entirely reconstructed to have a row of prime real estate, ranging from office spaces for brand-new apartment agencies to new places to grab acai bowls with a friend. 

Burge residents are also expected to get some quality-of-life improvements, including communal water features and larger windows for greater light. Rooms are expected to remain fairly untouched, but the outside AC units will be removed to create a “more streamlined look and feel to the building”.

So far, the university is having Burge undergo changes more discreetly, but sources claim that Burge residents will be moved to Mayflower in future academic years (unfortunate, Burge-ers. Burgers? Whatever). Pricing for the residence hall is also expected to increase, the current estimate around an additional $2,000.

Plans are not finalized, but some potential features include a dedicated podium to the Sign Guy (you know the one), to Burge Dining Hall being entirely replaced with a confusing array of airport-style eateries.

Excitement and resentment alike are boiling in the minds of students across campus. One anonymous Burge resident wrote to the DA that “it’s disgusting that they’re upcharging us for essentially the same experience,” citing the general lack of improvements to the upper floors.

“I think people are just afraid of change,” another student wrote. “There’s plenty of other residence halls to choose from and Burge has been itching for an upgrade. Who’s really going to miss things as they are?”

The university has yet to comment on these proposed changes. If things go through, we can only hope they might spruce up Currier next.