Biden Finishes Erasing Trump’s DVR Recordings (Mostly Episodes of The Apprentice)

After an eventful inauguration, as POTUS Joe Biden went to rest his weary bones for the day in his new bedroom at the White House, he walked in to find his wife going through episode after episode of The Apprentice saved onto the TV. Some even featured primo cuts of Trump just hanging out on set, talking shit to the interns and throwing coffee at his fellow show members.

In an interview with Biden, he mentioned to us that after asking around the House about these DVR recordings, everyone said that while they hadn’t seen Trump record them, the theme could be heard throughout the halls every night before they went to bed.

“It’s just so bizarre. So bizarre,” Biden said, rubbing away the tired look in his eyes from staring at his TV so long, amazed by all the images of Trump in his early-ish years. “Jill said she was going to put on the Golf channel for me before we went to bed and then next thing I know we’re calling someone up to override the DVR feature so it’ll stop playing that gosh darn Apprentice. I mean, haven’t we heard enough of that guy? I don’t need him in my bedroom too.”

After technical maintenance and an emotional breakdown by those trying to fix the TV so Trump would stop talking about stocks, they finally just bought a whole new system for Biden to use and record his own shows on. When we asked Biden what he might replace these DVR recordings with, he gave us a wry smile, giggled, and said, “These lips are sealed.”