Arbor Day Party Gets Too Lit, Police Arrive

Iowa City Police officers arrived at a house party yesterday afternoon after an Arbor Day party simply became too lit. The hosts of the party were issued a warning, though no students have been charged with underage planting.

“Arbor Day goes hard,” said UI sophomore Kennedy Spanner. “Especially in a college town like this, where you just get so many people who are down to get planting any time of the day. Things must’ve kicked off at something like ten in the morning, and by noon our yard is just filled to the brim with baby trees. It was fucking crazy – honestly, I don’t even remember how many I planted.”

This being the first year she and her friends lived off campus, Spanner said that this Arbor Day proved to be a special treat for enthusiasts like herself. She noted that while Arbor Day parties getting out of control is a time-honored Iowa City tradition, she frankly was not entirely surprised when she heard police sirens.

“I was half-expecting them to show up. Things were getting pretty rowdy. You name it, we planted it – sycamores, aspens, pines. One of my friends started planting ficuses in a neighbor’s yard, and we had to run inside when they took their dog out for a walk, and they were all like ‘what the fuck are you doing to our garden,’ and my friend was like ‘Arbor Day! Wooooo!’ and flashed them… God, I fucking love Arbor Day!”

Spanner admitted that the friend in question “may have been a little tipsy.”