Apology: That Wasn’t Super of Us.

We’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in our judgement, and we don’t expect to be forgiven. We are simply here to apologize.

What we posted yesterday was a travesty and obviously unplanned. We should have never posted the article. We should have postponed our group smoke sesh until after the Super Bowl. However, for those who are wondering, yes, that herky penjamin was fire as fuck.

We betrayed our core principles in upstanding and truthful journalism. We betrayed you, dear reader. We betrayed the honor and fans of (Team Brand). We betrayed the dignity of Lady Gaga for EVER assuming she would play her peak goddess music at a consumptionist event of bread and circuses.

We weren’t wrong about Drake though. He did cry like a bitch LOL.

For our fans who are defending our actions, please don’t. Our breakdown on the Doily Allergen twitter.com (fuck you elon I am not calling it X you fucking manchild) was in poor taste during our inebriation, and we were still geeking off that herky kush. Our goal at the DA is always to facilitate dignified and wholesome journalism. So, we are sorry for betraying you, dear readers, for breaking that sacred trust between student and student newspaper.

We are ashamed of ourselves. Barb is ashamed of us. Will we promise to be better? Probably not. We listen, and we don’t judge.