Andrew Tate Enrolled in Iowa Writers’ Workshop After Poetic Prison Tweets

Guess which sex trafficker is out of prison this week! Here’s a hint: it’s not Andrew Tate. The cold walls of the Romanian prison that the beta male is rotting in must have brought out his artistic side. Ever since his incarceration in December of 2022, he has been writing very beautiful poems from his cell to assure his disciples that he is still their wittle cutesy poopsie Top G.

Tate’s tweets caught the attention of Iowa Writers’ Workshop Director Lan Samantha Chang. The Iowa Writers’ Workshop is a world-renowned writing institute that only accepts 50 graduate students every year. Tate, however, was an exception. Chang eagerly sent a letter to Romania to offer the predator a spot as a graduate student in the Writers’ Workshop next year.

Romanian officials agreed to allow Tate into the Writers’ Workshop on three conditions:

Tate must remain in Romanian prison and work remotely.
Tate may not molest nor traffic any children while enrolled in the Iowa Writers’ Workshop.
Tate must be on his best behavior or we will be calling home.

“They just have substance. Something I haven’t seen in my lifetime,” Chang said. “The quality of the poems were equivalent to that of William Shakepeare, Edgar Allan Poe, Sylvia Plath… I just wish us mortals had the capacity to understand Tate’s work to its full extent.”

We’re excited to see what Tate accomplishes while enrolled in the Writers’ Workshop! We sure do hope he doesn’t kick any buckets while in prison. That would be quite the stubbed toe. Hopefully he can passaway time easily. There sure is no easy way out of prison. He won’t be pushing up any daisies in that dark cell of his. Surely he’ll be happy to go some hunting grounds when he is finally released to a better place. Hopefully he can tie some loose ends before he drops any stool.