7 DIY Projects To Keep Yourself From Doomscrolling That Double As Handy Weapons In A Violent Coup

Look, Republicans are going to do their darndest to make sure they keep an ousted president in the White House and/or undermine faith in U.S. democracy forever, and you scrolling through everyone’s panic-tweets isn’t going to make it less terrifying if Trump calls on the military to enforce his harebrained plan. We here at the Allergen encourage you to stay informed while practicing responsible self-care. Here are a few DIY projects that will keep you from picking up that phone while also preparing you in the event of inescapable civil unrest.

Man holding pepper spray (tear gas) in his hand. Self-defense. Blur background, square, close up.

Pepper spray

Get some crushed red pepper with your next pizza (and tip the delivery person, it’s a pandemic). Throw it in the blender with anything else spicy you happen to have on hand–buffalo sauce works great–and water it down till it’s thin enough to be sprayed out of your roommate’s empty detangler bottle. Good to go!

HD1080p: Super Slow Motion Close Up shot of human hands showing fire safety demonstration with common household item hairspray.

Flamethrower

A can of hairspray, a candle, wall bracket, and some rubber bands are all you need for this handy craft! Use the rubber bands to attach the bracket to the side of the can. Stick the candle on the bracket, lining it up carefully with the sprayer tip of the can. Light the candle and press the button to make a big flame. Disclaimer–this is approved for level 4 and up ANTIFA® members ONLY.

Just a hammer

It’s just a hammer.

Hand-braided bullwhip

If you’ve ever made a friendship bracelet, you’re going to love this one. Simply weave together a few leather strips until you’ve got enough length to live out your wildest Indiana Jones dreams. Once you’ve got the hang of it, this is a great craft to do in front of the TV or while listening to a relaxing podcast. (I know you’re not caught up on Bake-Off, Jacob!)

Many nails are stuck in baseball bats.

Spiked club

Pound some nails through a baseball bat using that hammer from before, making sure the tips stick out on the other side. This craft is not only simple and classic, but it looks totally badass.

Nerf gun

Upgrade your old Nerf guns, or pick some up at a local garage sale. Punch some thumbtacks into the foam bullets and set them aside for when the cops knock on your door after identifying you at an anti-coup protest on your city’s traffic cameras.

Nuclear bomb

I dunno, if you spend enough time tinkering with LEGOs you can probably figure it out.