News

Supreme Court Hears Ruling to Silence The Doily Allergen

The United States Supreme Court has called The Doily Allergen to Washington for speaking truth and fact far too often. The University of...

13 Reasons Why You Should Lock In

It’s that magical time of year when even the smallest things going wrong can have you telling all your friends (or at least Yik Yak),...

Before Finals Week Starts, Does Anyone Wanna Admit They Have A Crush on Us?

Be Honest 🫣 Ah, Dead Week: The point in the semester where everyone’s on the verge of collapse getting ready for finals, and classes...

Former Tippie Student Passes Away

RIP Mr. Business major :(((

Idiot Tree Still Thinks It’s Summer

BREAKING: This idiot tree apparently still thinks it’s summer. Look at all that green! Don’t you have some leaves to lose? Spoiler alert:...

Hundreds of Local Four-Eyes Face Homelessness Due to Police Raids, Rising Prescription Costs

Since the election of Donald Trump as the 47th President of the United States, Iowa has been cracking down on four-eyes across the state...

Herky Saves the Town

You Heard Right! In a thrilling turn of events, beloved University of Iowa mascot, Herky the Hawk, saves Iowa City from imminent...

The Doily Allergen Goes Back in Time to the First Thanksgiving to Get Herky off the Menu

THAT’S RIGHT! WE’RE GOING BACK IN TIME TO THE FIRST THANKSGIVING TO GET HERKY OFF THE MENU!!

We Roasted Herky This Thanksgiving: How Did He Taste?

We at the Doily Allergen are all about cutting corners whenever we can. So, when it came to Thanksgiving, why would we go out and buy a...

Herky Hunted for Sport

Early this morning, Herky the Hawk’s feathered corpse was found on the steps of the Old Capitol building. He had died from numerous arrow...

Top Ten Topics to Bring Up to Your Family This Thanksgiving

It’s finally time, Hawks! The fall semester has lasted three long years of burnout, cramming, and tears, but it’s nearly time to go home...

BREAKING: The Doily Allergen Wins Bid To Purchase YAF In Bankruptcy Auction

The University of Iowa’s only student newspaper announced yesterday that it won a bankruptcy auction to acquire the Iowa chapter of the...

Iowa Business Majors Forced To Enroll In Real Classes

In a shocking turn of events, Iowa business students are being required to take real classes before they graduate. Gone are the days of...

Daily Iowan Causing Eduroam Outages To Suppress Free Speech

Eduroam has been noticeably finicky lately. We here at the Doily Allergen suspect that our foes at the Daily Iowan are behind this,...

Barb Wilson Buys Mall to Build New Vacation House

So we all heard the news, the University has bought the Old Capital Mall. But the real question is, what are they planning to do with it?...

HWK LRT: Whr Dd th Vwls G???

Iw Ct Plc cntn t nvstgt. Rsm nrml ctvt nd sty wr f yr srrndngs. S mrgnc.w.d fr mr.

Macbook User Elegy

Written in iambic pentameter. In class, in meetings, in all of my work, When do you, Macbook, find yourself silent? As soon as a hush...

Student Spotlight: The Kid Who Jingles When They Walk

We’ve all heard that one guy walking down the hallway, rattling with every step like they have a set of wind chimes in their backpack....

Sorry, Folks: We Ran Out of News

There’s Just Nothing Going On Today Hey, everyone. We’d love to share some interesting news with you today, but unfortunately there isn’t...

Fall is Here! Shirtless Joggers Begin Wearing Tasteful Scarves

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