We Roasted Herky This Thanksgiving: How Did He Taste?
We at the Doily Allergen are all about cutting corners whenever we can. So, when it came to Thanksgiving, why would we go out and buy a...
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Herky Hunted for Sport
Early this morning, Herky the Hawk’s feathered corpse was found on the steps of the Old Capitol building. He had died from numerous arrow...
Top Ten Topics to Bring Up to Your Family This Thanksgiving
It’s finally time, Hawks! The fall semester has lasted three long years of burnout, cramming, and tears, but it’s nearly time to go home...
BREAKING: The Doily Allergen Wins Bid To Purchase YAF In Bankruptcy Auction
The University of Iowa’s only student newspaper announced yesterday that it won a bankruptcy auction to acquire the Iowa chapter of the...
Iowa Business Majors Forced To Enroll In Real Classes
In a shocking turn of events, Iowa business students are being required to take real classes before they graduate. Gone are the days of...
Daily Iowan Causing Eduroam Outages To Suppress Free Speech
Eduroam has been noticeably finicky lately. We here at the Doily Allergen suspect that our foes at the Daily Iowan are behind this,...
Barb Wilson Buys Mall to Build New Vacation House
So we all heard the news, the University has bought the Old Capital Mall. But the real question is, what are they planning to do with it?...
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Macbook User Elegy
Written in iambic pentameter. In class, in meetings, in all of my work, When do you, Macbook, find yourself silent? As soon as a hush...
Student Spotlight: The Kid Who Jingles When They Walk
We’ve all heard that one guy walking down the hallway, rattling with every step like they have a set of wind chimes in their backpack....
Sorry, Folks: We Ran Out of News
There’s Just Nothing Going On Today Hey, everyone. We’d love to share some interesting news with you today, but unfortunately there isn’t...
Street Hawk Debuts ‘Disgusting Burger Surprise’
A Meal that Leaves You Sweating, Shaking, and Satisfied In a shocking turn of events, the University of Iowa’s Street Hawk Food Truck has...
Herky’s Horrible Halloween: Beloved Mascot Found Dead After Frat Party
Police Suspect Miss Scarlett in the Conservatory with the Dagger This morning, the deceased body of Herky the Hawk was discovered in the...
Hallowed Be Thy Ween
Take Me By the Hand, Lead Me to the Land that Thee Understand
Freddy’s Rises from the Dead
Scariest Ghoul This Season is Food Poisoning Tenders fall across the land The drunken hour is close at hand Caniacs crawl in search of...
Haunted Bookshop Renamed to Bookshop
As Iowa City fully settles into the spooky season, the town has started to transform for Halloweekend (whenever that is). Residents have...
‘Pumpkin Spice Incident’ at Library Café Destroys Thousands of Precious Books
BREAKING: A hardware malfunction at the University of Iowa Main Library has led to the explosion of the “White-Girl-Inator,” the machine...
Professor Realizes Online Lecture Attendees Have Been Replaced by AI
Dead Zoom Theory is now Dead Zoom Fact A gen-ed psychology professor has finally come to the terrifying realization we’ve known all...
Burge Walking Tacos Win Michelin Star
After years of tireless effort perfecting the best walking tacos, Clinton Street Market in Burge finally gets the acknowledgement it...
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