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Important!

How About The University of Iowa ACTUALLY Listens to Real Women?
The University of Iowa Needs to Protect Its Endangered Students Instead of Its Neo-Nazi Students It seems Iowa YAF, the University of...

Board of Regents Guts College of Sorcerous Arts and Sciences
Job Security Bears Ill Omens Following federal orders to disband DEI (Divination, Enchantment, and Incantation) initiatives, the Board of...


Student On Tenth Consecutive Week of Midterms
Midterms are never kind, but there is a small, elite faction of students whose midterms have been annoyingly spread out this semester....


Local Four-Eyes Regrets Vote for Anti-Four-Eyes Party
“I never thought they would take away my glasses!” President Donald Trump shocked the nation in 2020 when he joined the controversial...


Diva Spotted!: Oliver Weilein
As we know, we’re living through some unprecedented times. First DOGE cuts off Men’s Sports for being “inefficient,” the identity focused...

Five American Colonists Shot Dead in Boston
Our Herky Counted Among the Fallen Most troubling news arrived by pigeon flight this morning. We regret to inform the Iowa Territory that...

Compromise Reached! New Terms Added to DEI: Cisgender, Heterosexual, White, Christian, Male
Equal opportunity over equity! Diversity saved!!!!! Only days after the University of Iowa announced that they would be moving their...


Helicopter Flies Into Hillcrest for the Third Time This Week
Yes, it is Monday Ever since the university has decided to comply with the executive order to eliminate any DEI from their budget,...

University of Iowa Moves DEI LLCs to Guantanamo Bay
Rumors have begun to spread across campus about the closure of our living-learning communities committee, with claims being made that...

Student Spotlight: Kid Trapped in Lockdown Browser
Straight Out of Black Mirror…and Into Respondus As the endless cycle of midterms has begun once again, students all across campus have...

DOGE Budget Cuts Include All Iowa Men’s Sports
Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency has ordered the University of Iowa—a state-funded institution—to cut tens of millions of...


Student Spotlight: The Kid In Your Lecture With The Black Plague
They’re not even masking! The cold weather has brought another bout of mysterious illnesses to Iowa City. It seems like everyone these...


O-DEI-ssey
“Muse, tell me about a complicated man” begins one of the newest translations of Homer’s Odyssey —a version that, according to the...

Barb Wilson Signs Executive Order Renaming UI to University of America
In what sources on the Board of Regents are calling a “patriotic” and “long overdue” move, University of Iowa President Barbara Wilson...

Iowa River Freezes Over, Trapping The Creature Beneath
Climate Reports Indicate This Annual Tradition Could Soon Become a Rare Occurrence Ah, winter. The time of pretty snow, disgusting slush,...

Purple Heart Awarded to Cambus Driver on Snowy Day
The West Campus Transportation Center was inhabited for the very first time this week for a Purple Heart Ceremony, where the medal was...

Former Tippie Student Passes Away
RIP Mr. Business major :(((

Hundreds of Local Four-Eyes Face Homelessness Due to Police Raids, Rising Prescription Costs
Since the election of Donald Trump as the 47th President of the United States, Iowa has been cracking down on four-eyes across the state...


The Doily Allergen Goes Back in Time to the First Thanksgiving to Get Herky off the Menu
THAT’S RIGHT! WE’RE GOING BACK IN TIME TO THE FIRST THANKSGIVING TO GET HERKY OFF THE MENU!!


We Roasted Herky This Thanksgiving: How Did He Taste?
We at the Doily Allergen are all about cutting corners whenever we can. So, when it came to Thanksgiving, why would we go out and buy a...
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