We Roasted Herky This Thanksgiving: How Did He Taste?
We at the Doily Allergen are all about cutting corners whenever we can. So, when it came to Thanksgiving, why would we go out and buy a...
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Important!
Herky Hunted for Sport
Early this morning, Herky the Hawk’s feathered corpse was found on the steps of the Old Capitol building. He had died from numerous arrow...
BREAKING: The Doily Allergen Wins Bid To Purchase YAF In Bankruptcy Auction
The University of Iowa’s only student newspaper announced yesterday that it won a bankruptcy auction to acquire the Iowa chapter of the...
Iowa Business Majors Forced To Enroll In Real Classes
In a shocking turn of events, Iowa business students are being required to take real classes before they graduate. Gone are the days of...
Barb Wilson Buys Mall to Build New Vacation House
So we all heard the news, the University has bought the Old Capital Mall. But the real question is, what are they planning to do with it?...
Sorry, Folks: We Ran Out of News
There’s Just Nothing Going On Today Hey, everyone. We’d love to share some interesting news with you today, but unfortunately there isn’t...
Herky’s Horrible Halloween: Beloved Mascot Found Dead After Frat Party
Police Suspect Miss Scarlett in the Conservatory with the Dagger This morning, the deceased body of Herky the Hawk was discovered in the...
Freddy’s Rises from the Dead
Scariest Ghoul This Season is Food Poisoning Tenders fall across the land The drunken hour is close at hand Caniacs crawl in search of...
Motorist Dies Following Bicycle Crash
This morning at 10:27 CDT, Iowa City motorist Thomass Clack collided with a bicycle while making a left turn at the intersection of...
Study Shows 2-12 Study Beers Linked To Improved Midterm Performance
Midterm season is in full swing here at the University of Iowa, and students of all majors are struggling to prepare for their exams....
Sign Guy Gets Raptured During Demonstration Outside Burge
All signs point to salvation The University of Iowa campus has just lost one of Christ’s strongest warriors, but the kingdom of heaven...
BREAKING: Old Man Has White Hair and Pronouns
WASHINGTON, D.C.— According to shocking whistleblower reports, woke liberals have infiltrated our highest stations of government. As new...
UI Study Abroad Program Unmasked as Drug Smuggling Scheme
The Iowa City Police Department recently uncovered a massive drug smuggling operation under the guise of the UI Study Abroad programs....
Pappajohn Business Building Replaced by Wicked Castle
After 30 short years, the John Pappajohn Business Building, famous for taking up an entire city block and enlightening Iowans about the...
Burge Gets Gentrified?
Rumors have been flying around campus this semester. Why is Burge Dining Hall now closed on Saturdays? Why didn’t Mayflower sell? Here...
A Raising Canes has Hit the Capitol Center
#NeverForget
Doily Allergen Tired of Nature, Returns to Smog
… … … Uh… hi. I know last time we spoke I was all, “We’re going back to our natural habitats, never to be seen in Iowa City again,” but,...
Finally Going Home: The Doily Allergen Permanently Returns to Nature
Ah, the summer: it descends upon us, as always, like a vulture to the leftovers. Finals season is coming to a close, and thousands upon...
UI Student Health Advises Birth Control Before Getting Fucked by an Exam
It’s that time of year again: when everyone suddenly realizes that the end of the semester is approaching. They need to study fast or...
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