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Hawk Alert
HAWK ALERT: Student Apprehended for Being in Possession of Academic Weapons
The University’s main library is under complete lockdown after the Iowa City Police tip line received notice that a student in possession...
HAWK ALERT: Spooky Scary Skeletons Send Shivers Down Your Spine
HAWK ALERT: Spooky, scary skeletons send shivers down your spine Shrieking skulls will shock your soul Seal your doom tonight Spooky,...
HAWK ALERT: H'what in Tarnation Is a Midterm?
These darn tootin’ tests have done got me confounded… we ain’t even halfway through the darn semester, dagnabbit!
HAWK ALERT: OUCH OWIE OWWWW
WHOOOOOO MAMA!!!!! YYYEEOOOOUUCH!!!!! HOOOLY BUCKETS!!!!! EEEEEEKKK!!!!! OOOOHHHH MAAAANN!!!!!!!!!! URRGHHHHHH OOOF!!!!!! HOLY...
HAWK ALERT: do you even like me?
No one asked when we went missing for a week...whatever... guess girls don't like nice guys anymore...
HAWK ALERT: I Just Took a Gender-Affirming Shit
It was midmorning. Another busy day of class after class. Morale was low and abdominal pain was high. My breakfast latte churned...
HAWK ALERT: I’m About To Wolf Out
I’m transforming… I’M TRANSFORMING GRAHHHAHHHHH awooooooo i'm the leader i'm the alpha
HAWK ALERT: Tummy Ache :(
This message includes information about a tummy ache that was recently reported on or near the University of Iowa campus. The purpose of...
HAWK ALERT: Are You Mad At Me?
HAWK ALERT: Are you mad at me? HAWK ALERT: Things seemed kind of off earlier. I just wanted to check. You can ignore this, sorry. lol...
HAWK ALERT: Beware the Ides of March
HAWK ALERT Ides of March Warning. Betrayal, assassination possible in less than 10 mins. Avoid possible senate meetings, the Theater of...
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