Dear Doily: How Is It January Already?
Dear Doily, I think we can all agree that this semester has gone by uncannily fast. It feels like just last week we were throwing out our...
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Dear Doily
Dear Doily: Have you seen my ladybugs?
Dear Doily, Have you seen my ladybugs? I’ve tried just about everything I can think of to get the word out but nothing has helped! A few...
Dear Doily: That Hentai Article Ruined My Relationship
Dear Doily, I’m not sure if you remember this, but a few weeks ago (or years, let’s be real: This semester has gone on long enough), you...
Dear Doily: Beware My Cursed Amulet
Dear Doily, MUAHAHAHAHA! Hear ye, hear ye, all who shall listen to my tale! From the depths of the Iowa River, a new magical talisman...
Dear Doily: My Dick Uses She/Her Pronouns
Dear Doily, I am a proud haver of erectile dysfunction. Yeah. I’m not ashamed. I tell people all the time. The first thing they always...
Dear Doily: Should I Fuck That Old Man?
Dear Doily, Okay, soooo…. I have this problem, and I figured y’all could help me??? I read your stuff a lot, and from what I can tell...
Dear Doily: As An Ohioan, I Can Confirm We All Eat Dogs, Actually
Dear Doily, Last night’s debate (and the entire election season, really) has given us Ohioans a lot of exposure. It’s a little weird to...
Dear Doily: I Just Took a Swim in the Iowa River and Now I Glow
Dear Doily, The weather is getting warmer every day, and the stress of finals on top of that is starting to make me sweat a bit. So last...
Dear Doily: What’s the Deal with Gum Control?
Dear Doily, What’s the deal with gum control? It’s one of those hot-button issues that’s consumed our news cycles for years at this...
Dear Doily: I Wrote You But You Still Ain’t Calling
Dear Doily, I wrote you but you still ain't calling. I left my Instagram, my email, and my birth certificate as an attachment. I sent two...
Dear Doily: You’ve Gone Woke
Dear Doily, I’ve recently noticed that as of late, it seems like some of your articles have been leaning a bit woke. Don’t get me wrong,...
Dear Doily: How Do You Beat Night 4 Without Freddy Killing You?
Dear Doily, I have been stuck on Night 4 of FNAF 1 for weeks now. I can’t figure it out. I always die to Freddy. I’ve got Bonnie, Chica,...
Dear Doily: The Moon Is Oysters
I thought the world was supposed to be my oyster. But dear God, was I wrong. Dear Doily, I humbly submit the following complaint in the...
Dear Doily: Help! I’m Full of Pus!
Dear Doily, ‘Twas a kindly summer night, Warm even past the low’ring of the sun Beyond that fateful line To which we ascribe the name...
Dear Doily: My Alumni Parents Regressed Too Hard During Family Weekend
Dear Doily, I’ve been a fan of your publication for quite a while now, but I’ve never had a reason to write in until this weekend. You...
Dear Doily: Am I The Asshole for Invading Ukraine After I Said I Wouldn’t?
Dear Doily, I (69M) am the current president of a large European superpower that was once the largest state in the Soviet Union. Anyways,...
Dear Doily: We Have Your Son
Dear Doily, We have your son. We demand $250,000 in unmarked bills by the end of the day tomorrow. If you choose not to pay, we will… uh…...
Dear Doily: What Classes Should I Take?
Dear Doily, I’m scheduled to register for my fall courses soon, but I have no idea what courses to take! I’m an open major in my second...
Dear Doily Allergen: Worried About My Dad’s Health
Dear Doily Allergen, My dad had a medical scare a few months ago and ever since I haven’t been able to shake the fear of losing him. My...
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