D Will

Supreme Court Hears Ruling to Silence The Doily Allergen

The United States Supreme Court has called The Doily Allergen to Washington for speaking truth and fact far too often. The University of...

Opinion: Iowa City Is Suffering A Severe Emo Boy Shortage

Where u @???? As an inhabitant of Iowa City who is doomed to be attracted to men, my underwear has been bone dry since living in this...

FACT: Not Even Vegans Eat the Hillcrest Vegan Brownies

Have you ever been eating at the best dining hall on campus, Hillcrest Market Place, when the hunger for a sweet treat hits you? You...

The Doily Allergen Endorses Barbara Wilson for President of the United States

Fuck You, Independent Voters. Since rumors that the state of Iowa may turn blue after all the votes are counted for the 2024 Presidental...

‘Pumpkin Spice Incident’ at Library Café Destroys Thousands of Precious Books

BREAKING: A hardware malfunction at the University of Iowa Main Library has led to the explosion of the “White-Girl-Inator,” the machine...

This New Raising Cane’s Tastes Suspiciously Like Herky the Hawk

After having dined at the new Raising Cane’s location in downtown Iowa City, many customers are reporting the chicken tasting like how...

JD Vance Headlines Studio 13 Drag Show

Vance Lip-Syncs... for... his... LIFE! Vice presidential candidate, JD Vance, everyone’s favorite eyeliner queen, seems to be growing...

Dear Doily: My Dick Uses She/Her Pronouns

Dear Doily, I am a proud haver of erectile dysfunction. Yeah. I’m not ashamed. I tell people all the time. The first thing they always...

Opinion: Cantaloupe is the Woke Liberal Agenda

US Space Force Wages War Against Transgender Aliens

Double Whammy! Freshman Tricked Into Joining Both Salt Co. and Iowa YAF

It’s one thing to fall victim to one of the numerous predatory student organizations on campus, but two?! Well, that’s what happened to...

Gay, Trans Bottoms Get Bottom Surgery at Summit

Summit is Iowa City’s favorite heterosexual safe space. It’s the one place a homophobe can go and not have to worry about encountering...

“Get back in there!”: Man Purposely Fails Rectal Exam for Hot Doctor at UI Quickcare

Two weeks ago, University of Iowa freshman Ian Hawke paid a visit to the UIowa Quickcare for his routine rectal exam (which he insisted...

Toilet Paper Shortage? No Worries! We Have The Daily Iowan!

Facts Don’t Care About your Feelings, but They do Care About this Big, Fat Ass

Raising Canes is NOT… I Repeat, NOT Coming to Downtown

You may have heard the news… but it is NOT TRUE. Raising Canes Chicken Fingers is NOT… I repeat, NOT coming to downtown Iowa City. Do NOT...

Student Spotlight: The Girl Scout Who Verbally Harassed Me

Women in Business recently sponsored Girl Scouts to sell cookies in the John Pappajohn Business Building. Due to my deep love for...

It Was My Decision To Get Clean: My Wizard101 Story

Fizzle after fizzle after fizzle. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was eating me from the inside out. My addiction to Wizard101 has finally...

Trans YAFman

“If one black man, aided by a bevy of good, decent, dedicated, open-, and liberal-minded whites and Jews can succeed in prevailing over a...

TBT: Iowa YAF Chairman, Uncle Ruckus, Bravely Fights Tears Testifying Before House Judiciary Committee

Throwback Thursday!!! Let’s look back to November 2023 when the Iowa YAF chairman, Uncle Ruckus, bravely testified before the GOP House...